The Power of Redirection

 

One of the most enticing aspects of challenging behavior is the want to take it head on.

The want to meet force with force and stop it dead in its tracks.

While this may be effective for some kiddos and even necessary when behavior is dangerous, other times this approach can leave you and your child frustrated and exhausted. 

 

This concept plays out daily with our toddler Callan.

Given the fact that he is 18-months old, has limited language and is too young to respond to rules or a sticker chart, his behavior is constantly communicating his wants and needs to us.

One of Callan’s favorite things to do is “help” clean around the house and at our gym. The vacuum, the mop, the broom, are all instruments of joy for him.  

 

At first this fixation was adorable. He would follow me around while I vacuumed and moped the floors at the gym with strong observational focus acting as my young custodial apprentice. 

 

After a few times of this, watching was not longer sufficient and Cal wanted to be the one toting the mop. When it was time to close up the gym for the night, I would put Callan in our kids area and begin my cleaning duties. He would then start to tantrum so I would take him from the area and allowed him to watch me clean. After 30-seconds of cleaning, he would start to tantrum again wanting to hold my mop. I let him do this for a minute or so but when I tired to take the mop back the tantrum would start again this time more intense.

 

Now my frustration level was rising as all I wanted to do was finish cleaning so I could take him and the girls home to eat some dinner. I grabbed the mop from him and yelled, “ALL DONE”. This only escalated the tantrum more and he continued to chase me around the gym grabbing at my legs and clinging the mop. 

 

At this point I realized I needed to pause and find another way to handle this situation.

I took a quick look around the gym and the solution hit me like the smell of fresh Pine-Sol in a bucket of hot water.

Sitting in the corner next to my large vacuum was a smaller vacuum and a small scrub brush.

I walked over and grabbed the two smaller pieces of cleaning equipment and set them out in front of Cal.

“Look what I found for you buddy” I said with a new found enthusiasm and I picked up the smaller vacuum and started cleaning with him.

The tears stopped steaming down his little cheeks and he ran over to me pointing at the vacuum.

I asked if he wanted a turn and he shook his head yes.

For the next hour, Cal used the two smaller pieces while I finished cleaning the gym with no more tears. This simple redirection was the answer tonight. 

 

Redirection is the first piece of our three step framework for addressing toddler challenging behavior. It allows us to stop the behavior immediately and saves everyone from the yelling and escalation that typically result from taking these behaviors head on.

 

Remember behavior is just language, try to keep in mind, and think what is this behavior trying to tell me?